they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
