i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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