i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
