his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
