Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
