2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
