After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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