I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have fence marks all over my body
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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