at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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