Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
