that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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