Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
