I bet he comes in French.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
