: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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