Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
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we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
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Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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