I wanna bring you to show and tell
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
