K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
handjob tips. give me some.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
