sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Two words: blizzard sex
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize