I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
