She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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