She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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