so explain again why im purple
no
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
