The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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