ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
