Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize