So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
