please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
