So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
