And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
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So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
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He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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