if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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