Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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