Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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