remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
zippers are such a cool invention
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
