it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
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He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize