ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
