i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
