I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
