Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
