well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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