You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
