Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
