Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
