What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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