But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
