Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Randomize
