i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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