Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
