I wish I only lived at night.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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