i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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