i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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