She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
