my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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