You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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