I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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