Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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