Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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