..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she looked like the before picture.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The feeling are messing with the penis
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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