she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my being single is dangerous.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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