She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
