The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize