did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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