i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
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the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
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All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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