Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize