walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i think i scared a bird with my dick
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
