I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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