Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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