North Korea, Best Korea!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
